Under the Weeping Clouds and Near Rain-Danced Leaves

(15/9/2004)

Memories slip in through;
through the cracks of my wandering daydreams.
There appears a smile which does not belong to me
and a vision that I wish again to see.

As I close my eyes, inside, light turns into Light.
The image of a woman appears and vanishes
as each moment passes me by.
And then I reflect on those choices of mine.

When this heart had once desired
the love of a Beautiful Flower;
she had followed her own Sun
and maybe taken protection under the shadow of another one.

Many wishes I had written in the page of my life
and as I read them to myself, I remember that
my second wish was that I would marry you
but my first desire was that your happiness would come true.

I let go of the rope of my hope and fall
in cheerful abandon when gravity beckons.
Down and down. Forever in an instant.
Tears well up for myself, for rejection; fists tighten, desperate.

Shattered ego, broken self-esteem
My mind builds its wall around my spirit
For some time from now, it won't rain in my soul again
And I laugh in the face of love; I am reborn, heartless and sane.